When I asked her, “Why do you put walnuts into a perfectly good cookie?” she answered, “You can't even taste them."
What? That makes no sense at all—even after several decades, I still cannot get my head around that logic. You can't even taste them? Well, why in the world would you go to the trouble and expense of adding walnuts if you can't even taste them? If they have no value, why even….
My conclusion: She liked them, so everyone else should savor them too… so get over it and enjoy the darn cookie.
I travel a lot. I've had the opportunity to eat monkey brain. Hard pass. I could have ordered sheep brain at a restaurant in India earlier this year. Another hard pass. I can take curry—for about a day. Anyway, you get the idea.
In the mission world there is a saying, which, for the most part, I have embraced. “Where they lead us, we will follow, what they feed us, we will swallow!”
But, there is a time to evaluate what we are swallowing.
I am going to make a stand on the principle that we all need to be picky eaters—carefully deciding what and who we allow to feed our minds—and souls. What will we digest-- and choose not to ingest? Who do we allow free access to our emotional, spiritual, and mental diet?
Who gets to occupy the real estate of your mind rent-free? Maybe it is time to stop ingesting things that seem true or accurate to you--but are not. Maybe you, too, can remove the emotional walnuts or spiritual nuts you have blindly consumed.
It is okay to be a free thinker and a question-asker. Anyone who gets all snarly about that should not be allowed access to your mind—or heart.
Not only is it okay to ask questions that your friends and acquaintances may not be asking, but we are also living in a day that you are doing yourself, your family, and society a favor by doing so.
Let me soft pitch a few examples of when being a “picky eater” may be highly beneficial.
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Does the Bible actually say that? Ask your friend to reveal Scripture that supports their view that Jesus genuinely supported X line of reasoning. (We can ask, but we don't get to be snarky about it). Common beliefs may not have actual support from the sacred writings…and context is everything. Our priests, pastors, parents, or counselors don't have a magical trump card—we get to ask questions of our leaders. (And, by the way, I have held three of those positions).
- Maybe it is time to spit out the nuts of your old thinking/discipleship. Choose to not replay the old, critical tapes that your dad…mom…teacher…pastor… unconsciously endowed upon your thinking.
- Be a picky eater when it comes to your marriage. Silver divorce is a real thing. A vow is a pledge to the very end. Hopping out of a relationship to join something more appealing will not end well.
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Train yourself to be a critical thinker. Here is the kicker: most everyone thinks they already ARE critical thinkers and have developed that part of their brain. We must train ourselves to be critical thinkers—by asking thoughtful questions- to LEARN and not teach. To seek understanding—not to put someone in their place. Intentionally sit down with someone you disagree with—and hear their thoughts. Be open to the possibility that you may have a skewed view.
Let’s be picky eaters-- without being judgmental little snits. It just might take a lifetime to get that one down. Be careful what you swallow. You have a choice.
